Are You Serious?
So I get the new season schedule today. Looks good. Season will last between the end of September and the beginning of December. Playoffs are TBA.
But that's not why I'm writing this drunk at 10:40 on a Saturday night.
What I noticed on this list is a new team...
"Ralph Bocceo & the Karate Kids."
Usually, I'd revel in the friendly competition. It's about time a team came out to be our enemies, play on the whole "Karate Kid" vibe, blah blah blah. But then I looked at the rest of the schedule.
No "Off the Wall."
Now, for those of you who are new to the blog, let me tell you about "Off the Wall."
On our first bocce match ever, we showed up 10 minutes late. There was one team that made a big, stinking deal about the whole situation, not forgiving that we came from fucking New Jersey to be there...
Off the Wall.
A few seasons later, there was a team that not only knocked us out of the tournament, but terrorized the poor bartender into playing a Michael Jackson song for the whole bar off of their Ipod because they needed to celebrate?
Off the Wall.
And this year, during the tournament, who was the one team who kicked and screamed and stomped their drunken feet when we wouldn't let them use their awful tacky miserable flourescent balls during TOURNAMENT PLAY?!?!?
Off the Wall.
And this season? It appears that one team has actually traded in a name they've been using since Day 1, Season 1 just to take a little jab at our amazingness?*
Off the Wall.
If this is really them, they're going to be slaughtered this season. I'm not even trying to be cute here.
If it's not...
Ralph Bocceo? You just joined the wroooooong bocce league.
*Accusations cannot be proven. Please consult your doctor before subscribing to any of Cobra Kai's beliefs and/or practices. Men who engage in such practices suffer headaches, dry mouth, and overt sexual prowess. Women who engage in such practices suffer from cramps, bloating, and too much sex with members of Cobra Kai.
But that's not why I'm writing this drunk at 10:40 on a Saturday night.
What I noticed on this list is a new team...
"Ralph Bocceo & the Karate Kids."
Usually, I'd revel in the friendly competition. It's about time a team came out to be our enemies, play on the whole "Karate Kid" vibe, blah blah blah. But then I looked at the rest of the schedule.
No "Off the Wall."
Now, for those of you who are new to the blog, let me tell you about "Off the Wall."
On our first bocce match ever, we showed up 10 minutes late. There was one team that made a big, stinking deal about the whole situation, not forgiving that we came from fucking New Jersey to be there...
Off the Wall.
A few seasons later, there was a team that not only knocked us out of the tournament, but terrorized the poor bartender into playing a Michael Jackson song for the whole bar off of their Ipod because they needed to celebrate?
Off the Wall.
And this year, during the tournament, who was the one team who kicked and screamed and stomped their drunken feet when we wouldn't let them use their awful tacky miserable flourescent balls during TOURNAMENT PLAY?!?!?
Off the Wall.
And this season? It appears that one team has actually traded in a name they've been using since Day 1, Season 1 just to take a little jab at our amazingness?*
Off the Wall.
If this is really them, they're going to be slaughtered this season. I'm not even trying to be cute here.
If it's not...
Ralph Bocceo? You just joined the wroooooong bocce league.
*Accusations cannot be proven. Please consult your doctor before subscribing to any of Cobra Kai's beliefs and/or practices. Men who engage in such practices suffer headaches, dry mouth, and overt sexual prowess. Women who engage in such practices suffer from cramps, bloating, and too much sex with members of Cobra Kai.
posted by The Sensei at 7:44 PM
4 Comments:
Ralph Bocceo. Fuck me. Fuck me for thinking that I'd finally heard the worst of all bocce-related names. Fuck me for forgetting that that particular stinking well never runs dry.
Ralph BOCCEO. Fuuuuuck me.
tick tock
tick tock
tick tock
the terrordome looms 11.11
lame
I suspect the reason you invited me to view your blog is that you thought I'd be intimidated by your boastful and aggressive prose. You thought wrong. The Beeyotcces remain unafraid.
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